Cat Rules

Here are a few simples rules for all cats to follow:

1. Bathrooms: 
1. Always accompany guests to the bathroom.  It is not necessary to do anything.  Just sit and stare.
2. Doors: 
1. Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get the door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws.  Once door is open, it is not necessary to use it. 
2. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things.  This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
3. Chairs and Rugs:
1. If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly.  If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug.  If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.  When throwing up on the carpet, amke sure you back up so it is as long as a human's bare foot.
4. Hampering:  If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one.  This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering."  Here are rules for hampering:
1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook.  You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. 
2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the owrk as possible.  Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap teh pencil or pen.
4. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him or her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper.  Humans love to jump!
5. When a human is working on the computer, jump on the desk, walk across the keyboard, bat at the mouse pointer on the screen and then lay in the human's lap across arms, hampering typing in the process.
5. Walking:
1. As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and  when they first get up in the morning.  This will help their coordination skills.
6. Bedtime:
1. Always sleep on the human at night so he or she cannot move around.
7. Litterbox:
1. After using the litterbox kick as much litter out of the box as possible.  Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
8. Hiding:
1. Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you.  Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances.  This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost.  Once you do come out, the humans will shower you with kisses and you will most likely get a treat.
9. One Last Thought:
1. Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them.  Humans love this, so do it often...and don't forget guests!

Casey follows the rule number 4-5, and helps out at the front desk!