How to Give A Cat A Bath

     Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.  That they somehow "lick" themselves clean.  Contrary to this belief cats do not have an enzyme in their salivia that resembles Tide.  Cats like their nemesis, the dog, do get dirty and have a variety of orders.       Now we all know that cats HATE water.  And we all know that giving a cat a sedative to ease this purpose is out of thw question.  So the best approach is to be sneaky and direct.  Remember now, this is not the dog who can be led to the tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.  Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness, and total lack of concern for you...you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.  Follow the easy steps below:

1. Dress for the occasion, a 4 ply rubber wet suit is suggested, a long with a helmet, face mask, and welder's gloves.
2. A bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with the shower curtain.  A frenzied cat can shred a curtain in about 3.5 seconds.
3. Prepare the bathtub area.  Have the Kitty Shampoo and towel in the bathtub before hand.  No...blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.  Draw the water making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat.  Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.
4. Find your cat and use the element of surprise.  Pick up your cat nonchalantly as if your were carrying them to their supper dish.  No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, the cat barely notices you anyway.
5. Once you have you cat in the bathroom, speed is essential.  In one signle liquid motion shut the door, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
6. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
7. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. 
8. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat. 
9. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
10. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.
11. But at least now he smells a lot better

And yes Best Friends Pet Care does offer cat grooming by a professional! No helmet required